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For Christian parents, the ultimate goal is to rear children in a God-centered environment so that they will desire a more intimate relationship with Him. To do that, we lay a foundation in their lives that includes knowing, believing, loving, fearing, and serving God. In the church, we help encourage these things by providing a setting that stimulates spiritual growth through teaching, preaching, mentoring, role modeling, and making church a place where children feel safe to ask questions about God.
Clearly, each child is born with their own temperament and personality traits that can make helping some make good choices, a little more challenging. We can guide and provide positive Christian opportunities; however, no one can force someone else to make good life choices. Even God gives us (and our children) the ability to choose right from wrong. God promises to lead and direct us, but He will not force us. The goal is to help children want to walk in the footsteps of their God loving parents and those ministers He has placed in their lives, just as we want and desire to walk in the footsteps of God.
Modeling a life of discipleship is of the utmost importance! We are what we observe. Therefore, it is imperative that children see what it means to love God and love this Christian walk through the lives of their parents and other people God has placed in their path. A child’s perception of what it means to serve God is built upon their example. It is impractical to believe that we can raise God fearing children if there are not genuine godly examples for them to emulate. If children see prejudice, hypocrisy, and selfishness, they will not be attracted to this Christian way of life. Instead, they will most likely succumb to negative peer influences and later have a negative attitude toward God and the church.
A friend of mine shares this story about her son Richard, who is a bright, but often impulsive young boy. He had gotten in trouble at school and his mother, driving him first to the store and then home, asked Richard to please remind her that she needed to discipline him for the problems he had caused at school that day. She was concerned that because they had to so many errands to run, she might forget. Recently her pastor had made the statement, “If you don’t do what you tell your children you are going to do, you are lying.” Not wanting her children to see her as a liar, she asked Richard to remind her.
Just as she had suspected, she forgot. But Richard didn’t. As she was putting her things away, Richard piped up, “Mom, don’t forget about the discipline. I don’t want you to be a liar.”
Teaching children by role modeling God’s character, and not just teaching them His commandments, provides them evidence that living for God is of ultimate importance. Faithfulness to His Word and to the church is crucial. If we have not clearly demonstrated to our children that following God is first-rate, then how will we ever persuade them that understanding and following His laws are worth their effort and time? Simply put, our lips and lives need to say, “I believe in God and His Word.”
Assuring that children have their physical needs such as food, shelter, and clothing provided for is only part of what we do as helpers of God. Equally as important is to help ensure that each child and family member is provided emotional support and spiritual guidance. This is true biblical teaching and modeling of our faith in God, a message that is often not taught with words, but is caught and modeled by our Christ-like actions toward others. No child should ever leave our churches feeling unwanted or unloved; just as no parents should leave without a clear understanding of the principals to Christ centered living. And the most effective way to provide this … is to model it.
An excerpt from the book “Christian Counseling: ‘How To’ Guide to Compassionate Christian Care” authored by Beth Baus. You can order this book and view other books written by this author by going to www.ourhealthyfamilies.org
