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So what should be the number 1 priority for dads? If you ask me, I’m convinced that ‘living Christ’ and role modeling His characteristics should be on the top of the list. Many psychologists believe that most behaviors are learned and what is learned and imprinted in the hearts and minds of children comes mostly from those closes to them-their parents. I’m afraid that I have to agree with this thought, but only because it’s also found in scripture.
What has God commanded fathers to do? For starters, He tells us that the greatest commandment is to “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength” (Deuteronomy 6:5). Going back to verse 2, we read, “So that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy a long life.”
Following Deuteronomy 6:5, we read, “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (vv. 6-7).
The Christian father is really an instrument in God’s hand and who we are, our mannerisms, what we prioritize, and frankly, how we treat our children and spouse in public and in private, has a great impact in how our children grow up and view God.
What I’ve noticed is when a child grows up in a home where a father is emotionally distant and uninvolved in their lives, that child grows up to see God in a very similar manner. God becomes a God that is not actively involved in their lives and has very little interest in them personally. Therefore, understanding the love and mercy of God for these children becomes a concept difficult for them to grasp.
When a father is harsh or rigid, their children often grow up to see God as judgmental and quick to punish. Often, these children grow up with deep seeded feelings of insecurity and forever struggle, viewing themselves as never good enough or worthy of anything, let alone the pure grace and love of God.
What we model as parents is of great importance because it directly results in our children’s perspective on God’s character. No one is perfect, but there is potential and opportunity to model Christ in our everyday lives so that our children will have a more accurate picture of who God is. Good Christ-like models more often produce emotionally and spiritually healthy children who more readily put their trust and faith in God.
So what kind of dad do kids need? Let’s look at the attributes of God that the Apostle Paul shares with us in I Corinthians 13:4-7; “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
I think we all can agree that this is the kind of dad our kids need; the kind of dad that God intended for His children; the kind of dad that looks just like Him.
Beth Baus is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Riverside, California. She teaches for Apostolic School of Theology / Hope International University. Sis Baus attends Inland Lighthouse Church pastured by Rev. Larry Booker. To visit her website, go to www.ourhealthyfamilies.org
