1. Focus everyday on how much happier you will be when you are married.
2. Don’t spend any time with friends…you’ll want to be ready in case Mr/Ms Right calls.
3. Never spoil yourself with things such as nice clothes, or vacations…you’ll want to wait and spend those memorable days when you meet your special someone.
4. Date only those individuals who are perfect, rich, handsome or beautiful, or come from famous families like the Kennedy’s…don’t settle for less.
5. Don’t get an education or think about a career…this could hinder any progress you are making towards finding the love of your life…Focus…Focus…Focus!

 How to Be Single and Happy

1. Respect yourself for who you are and who God created you to be. Don’t define yourself worth by whether or not you have a significant other.
2. Get out of the house and have some fun.  You might be surprised what you can do and how much fun you can have, even without the love of your life.
3. Go on a vacation with a friend or family member you enjoy being around.  Why not?  It’s a whole lot cheaper to go to Paris with a friend, then with a spouse and three children. 
4.  Pursue a career you think you will love, get an education, or become a volunteer.  You’ll feel better about yourself and at the same time, help others in your community. 
5. Draw closer to God.  The secret to happiness can only be found in our relationship with God…not in things…or in money…or fame…or a spouse. It really is quite simple; the more we love God and follow His plan for our lives, the happier we will be. 

“No eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man conceived, what God has prepared for those who love Him.”     ( I Cor. 2:9)

Beth Baus is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Riverside, California.  She teaches for Apostolic School of Theology / Hope International University.  To visit her website, go to www.ourhealthyfamilies.org

What do your kids watch while you are not there?

• K-1st grade students access the Internet using various devices for a variety of purposes, including playing online games and communicating with other people. Online gaming is increasingly popular among younger students. (Rochester Institute of Technology, 2008)

• 48 percent of students K-1st grade level interact with people on Web sites, while 50 percent indicate that their parents watch them when they use a computer, leaving the other half of those youngsters more prone to being exposed to predation behaviors or other threats posed by online strangers or even persons they know or regard as friends. (Rochester Institute of Technology, 2008)

• 48 percent of K-1st reported viewing online content that made them feel uncomfortable, of which 72 percent reported the experience to a grownup, meaning that one in four children did not. (Rochester Institute of Technology, 2008)

• 32 percent of teens clear the browser history to hide what they do online from their parents. (Harris Interactive-McAfee 10/2008)

• 16 percent have created private e-mail addresses or social networking profiles to hide what they do online from their parents. (Harris Interactive-McAfee 10/2008)

• 63 percent of teens said they know how to hide what they do online from their parents. (Harris Interactive-McAfee 10/2008)

• 43 percent have closed or minimized the browser at the sound of a parental step. (Harris Interactive-McAfee 10/2008)

• 11 percent have unlocked/disabled/ parental/filtering controls. (Harris Interactive-McAfee 10/2008)

• 52 percent of teens have given out personal information online to someone they don’t know offline including personal photos and/or physical descriptions of themselves (24 percent). Double the number of teen girls have shared photos or physical descriptions of themselves online as boys. (34 percent girls vs. 15 percent boys) (Harris Interactive-McAfee 10/2008)

• 20 percent of teens have engaged in cyberbullying behaviors, including posting mean or hurtful information or embarrassing pictures, spreading rumors, publicizing private communications, sending anonymous e-mails or cyberpranking someone. (Harris Interactive-McAfee 10/2008)

• A quarter of teens would be shocked (24 percent), one in five would feel hurt (19 percent) and 34 percent would feel offended if they found out their mother was keeping track of what they do online without their knowledge or permission. (Harris Interactive-McAfee 10/2008)

• Looking at a general picture of teen internet adoption, American teens are more wired now than ever before. According to our latest survey, 93 percent of all Americans between 12 and 17 years old use the internet. In 2004, 87 percent were internet users, and in 2000, 73 percent of teens went online. (Lenhart, Amanda and Madden, Mary. Teens, Privacy, and Online Social Networks. Pew Internet and American Life Project, April 18, 2007 http://www.pewinternet.org/pdf…rivacy_SNS_Report_Final.pdf).

• Home computers are still overwhelmingly located in open family areas of the home; 74 percent of teens now say the computer they use is in a public place in the home, compared with 73 percent in 2004 and 70 percent in 2000. (Lenhart, Amanda and Madden, Mary. Teens, Privacy, and Online Social Networks. Pew Internet and American Life Project, April 18, 2007 http://www.pewinternet.org/pdf…rivacy_SNS_Report_Final.pdf).

• A large majority of teens (71 percent) have established online profiles (including those on social networking sites such as MySpace, Friendster and Xanga), up from 61 percent in 2006. (National teen Internet survey was funded by Cox Communications in partnership with NCMEC and John Walsh and was conducted in March 2007 among 1,070 teens age 13 to 17. The research was conducted online by TRU. http://www.cox.com/TakeCharge/…ocs/survey_results_2007.ppt).

• 65 percent of high school students admit to unsafe, inappropriate, or illegal activities online (Market Wire. November 6, 2006. i-SAFE Inc. December 12, 2006 http://www.marketwire.com/mw/r…e_html_b1?release_id=180330).

• 38 percent of high school students sometimes hide their online activities from their parents (Market Wire. November 6, 2006. i-SAFE Inc. December 12, 2006 http://www.marketwire.com/mw/r…e_html_b1?release_id=180330).

• The risks to children, particularly teenagers, in cyberspace include exposure to unwanted exposure to sexual material (1 in 3 youth) and harassment — threatening or other offensive behavior directed at them (1 in 11 youth). (Online Victimization of Youth: Five Years Later. 2006. National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, Crimes Against Children Research Center, Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention. December 4, 2006. http://www.unh.edu/ccrc/pdf/CV138.pdf).

• 31 percent of 7th to 12th-graders pretended to be older to get onto a website. (Generation M: Media in the Lives of 8-18 Year-Olds. Victoria Rideout, Donald F. Roberts. Ulla G. Foehr. March 2005. The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation. 17 November 2006, http://www.kff.org/entmedia/up…f-8-18-Year-olds-Report.pdf).

• Nearly one-third (31percent) of 8- to 18-year-olds have a computer in their bedroom, and one in five (20 percent) have an Internet connection there (Generation M: Media in the Lives of 8-18 Year-Olds. Victoria Rideout, Donald F. Roberts. Ulla G. Foehr. March 2005. The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation. 17 November 2006, http://www.kff.org/entmedia/up…f-8-18-Year-olds-Report.pdf).

• Three in four (74 percent) young people have a home Internet connection (31 percent have high-speed access). Nearly one-third (31 percent) have a computer in their bedroom, and one in five (20 percent) have an Internet connection there. In a typical day, about half of young people (48 percent) go online from home, 20 percent from school, and 16 percent from someplace else (Generation M: Media in the Lives of 8-18 Year-Olds. Victoria Rideout, Donald F. Roberts. Ulla G. Foehr. March 2005. The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation. 17 November 2006, http://www.kff.org/entmedia/up…f-8-18-Year-olds-Report.pdf).

• Among the 96 percent of young people who have ever gone online, 65 percent say they go online most often from home, 14 percent from school, 7 percent from a friend’s house, and 2 percent from a library or other location (Generation M: Media in the Lives of 8-18 Year-Olds. Victoria Rideout, Donald F. Roberts. Ulla G. Foehr. March 2005. The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation. 17 November 2006, http://www.kff.org/entmedia/up…f-8-18-Year-olds-Report.pdf).

• One in ten young people (13 percent) reports having a handheld device that connects to the Internet (The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation Study, March 2005).

• The most common recreational activities young people engage in on the computer are playing games and communicating through instant messaging (Generation M: Media in the Lives of 8-18 Year-Olds. (Victoria Rideout, Donald F. Roberts, Ulla G. Foehr. March 2005. The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation. 17 November 2006, http://www.kff.org/entmedia/up…f-8-18-Year-olds-Report.pdf).

Parental Concerns

• 58 percent of moms think the government is not doing enough to keep kids safe online (Harris Interactive-McAfee 10/2008)

• 44 percent said they worry about their teens’ safety when they are online in their bedroom unsupervised, and about one in four (24 percent) are more concerned about what their children do online than what they do when they are out of the house. (Harris Interactive-McAfee 10/2008)

• 58 percent of moms believe teens sharing too much personal information is a primary concern. (Harris Interactive-McAfee 10/2008)

• About two-thirds of mothers of teens in the United States are just as, or more, concerned about their teenagers’ online safety, such as from threatening emails or solicitation by online sexual predators, as they are about drunk driving (62 percent) and experimenting with drugs (65 percent). (Harris Interactive-McAfee 10/2008)

• 72 percent of mothers have a verbal agreement with their teen – that is, a discussion of what is and is not allowed online(Harris Interactive-McAfee 10/2008)

• 48 percent of mothers admitted they don’t always know what their kids do online. (Harris Interactive-McAfee 10/2008)

• 26 percent of moms said they have joined and “friended” their child on a social networking site, but many moms are going undercover to monitor their children. (Harris Interactive-McAfee 10/2008)

• 59 per cent said they check their child’s browser history when they are done using the Internet and 15 percent use a software program to monitor what their kids do online. (Harris Interactive-McAfee 10/2008)

• Parental awareness of their teens’ online activities has risen significantly. This year, 25 percent of teens say their parents know “little” or “nothing” about what they do online, down from 33 percent last year. (National teen Internet survey was funded by Cox Communications in partnership with NCMEC and John Walsh and was conducted in March 2007 among 1,070 teens age 13 to 17. The research was conducted online by TRU. http://www.cox.com/TakeCharge/…ocs/survey_results_2007.ppt).

• 41 percent of teens report their parents talk to them “a lot” about Internet safety (up five points over 2006), and three out of four say their parents have talked to them in the past year about the potential dangers of posting personal info. The level of parental involvement is higher for younger teens and girls, although it has increased across all age groups and both genders. (National teen Internet survey was funded by Cox Communications in partnership with NCMEC and John Walsh and was conducted in March 2007 among 1,070 teens age 13 to 17. The research was conducted online by TRU. http://www.cox.com/TakeCharge/…ocs/survey_results_2007.ppt).

• Teens whose parents have talked to them “a lot” about Internet safety are more concerned about the risks of sharing personal info online than teens whose parents are less involved. For instance, 65 percent of those whose parents have not talked to them about online safety post info about where they live, compared to 48 percent of teens with more involved parents. (National teen Internet survey was funded by Cox Communications in partnership with NCMEC and John Walsh and was conducted in March 2007 among 1,070 teens age 13 to 17. The research was conducted online by TRU. http://www.cox.com/TakeCharge/…ocs/survey_results_2007.ppt).

• Teens whose parents have talked to them “a lot” about online safety are less likely to consider meeting face to face with someone they met on the Internet (12 percent vs. 20 percent). (National teen Internet survey was funded by Cox Communications in partnership with NCMEC and John Walsh and was conducted in March 2007 among 1,070 teens age 13 to 17. The research was conducted online by TRU. http://www.cox.com/TakeCharge/…ocs/survey_results_2007.ppt).

• 53 percent of parents say they have filtering software on the computer their child uses at home. (Lenhart, Amanda and Madden, Mary. Teens, Privacy, and Online Social Networks. Pew Internet and American Life Project, April 18, 2007 http://www.pewinternet.org/pdf…rivacy_SNS_Report_Final.pdf).

• 45 percent of parents have monitoring software that records what users do online. (Lenhart, Amanda and Madden, Mary. Teens, Privacy, and Online Social Networks. Pew Internet and American Life Project, April 18, 2007 http://www.pewinternet.org/pdf…rivacy_SNS_Report_Final.pdf).

• 65 percent of parents report checking up on their teens after they go online. (Lenhart, Amanda and Madden, Mary. Teens, Privacy, and Online Social Networks. Pew Internet and American Life Project, April 18, 2007 http://www.pewinternet.org/pdf…rivacy_SNS_Report_Final.pdf).

• The number one media concern for parents has shifted from television to the Internet, with 85 percent of parents saying that it posed the greatest risk to their children among all forms of media (National Attitudinal Poll, Common Sense Media, June 7, 2006, http://www.commonsensemedia.or…ws/press-releases.php?id=23).

• 80 percent of Parents worry about predators in their kids’ Internet use (National Attitudinal Poll, Common Sense Media, June 7, 2006, http://www.commonsensemedia.or…ws/press-releases.php?id=23).

• 76 percent of Parents say they would like to make the Internet a safer place for kids (National Attitudinal Poll, Common Sense Media, June 7, 2006, http://www.commonsensemedia.or…ws/press-releases.php?id=23).

• 83 percent of Parents say there is no excuse for not knowing enough about the Internet to protect your kids or teens (National Attitudinal Poll, Common Sense Media, June 7, 2006, http://www.commonsensemedia.or…ws/press-releases.php?id=23).

• 88 percent of Parents think it’s more important to know what their kids are doing online than to respect their kids’ privacy (National Attitudinal Poll, Common Sense Media, June 7, 2006, http://www.commonsensemedia.or…ws/press-releases.php?id=23).

• According to the NAC parent survey of more than 4,000 respondents, 93 percent of parents stated that they know “some” or “a lot” about where their children go and what they do on the Internet. Yet only 42 percent of high school students — and 62 percent of middle school students stated that they share where they go and what they do on the Internet with their parents (Market Wire. November 6, 2006. i-SAFE Inc. December 12, 2006 http://www.marketwire.com/mw/r…e_html_b1?release_id=180330).

• 42 percent of parents do not review the content of what their teenagers read and/or type in chat rooms or via instant messaging. 58 percent of parents do. (Parents’ Internet Monitoring Study. June 2005. Cox Communications, The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and Netsmartz, December 14, 2005, http://www.cox.com/TakeCharge/includes/docs/results.pdf).

• Teenagers use chat lingo to communicate when Instant Messaging and parents don’t know the meaning of some of the most commonly used phrases. 57 percent don’t know “LOL” (laughing out loud), 68 percent don’t know “BRB” (be right back), and 92 percent don’t know “A/S/L” (age, sex, location). (Parents’ Internet Monitoring Study. June 2005. Cox Communications, The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and Netsmartz, December 14, 2005, http://www.cox.com/TakeCharge/includes/docs/results.pdf).

• 95 percent of parents did not recognize other common chat room lingo that teenagers use to let people they are chatting with online know that parents are around including: POS (parents over shoulder); P911 (parents alert). (Parents’ Internet Monitoring Study. June 2005. Cox Communications, The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and Netsmartz, December 14, 2005, http://www.cox.com/TakeCharge/includes/docs/results.pdf).

• 23 percent of parents have rules about what their kids can do on the computer. (The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation Study, March 2005).

Enough.org

♫ “Oh be careful little mouth what you say…” ♪

The first incident happened quite a few years ago at a Heritage Youth Conference. Before the conference I had found some awesome deals on clothes and had all new outfits. I was so excited. I couldn’t wait to wear all my new stuff and I just knew that I would be looking so good! My self-confidence was very high starting out the beginning of that conference; it was probably higher than the clouds in the sky. However, that quickly changed by the words of a very good-looking guy, making fun of me.

♫ “Oh be careful little mouth what you say…” ♪

I didn’t know him or anything about him, but he was tall with blond hair, blue eyes and an athletic build. I didn’t actually see what happened, but my sister saw the whole thing and informed me later on. She said that he had been with a group of young people from other churches and that when I had come over to the table, where all the youth from my church were sitting, when I sat down he smirked and turned to the people he was with and pretended my chair was breaking. Then him and all the people he was with all cracked up laughing.

♫ “Oh be careful little mouth what you say…” ♪

When my sister told me all this I acted like I didn’t care, that it didn’t matter what people said or thought of me, BUT it did. I was shocked and hurt, especially since the people he was laughing with, was people I often hung out with. The rest of the conference my self-esteem was shot. It didn’t matter what I wore or what people said. They would be like, “Oh Mary, you look so pretty!” and I would smile my bubbly smile, and exclaim an exuberant, “Thank you!” But inside I was thinking, “YEAH RIGHT!” When I looked in the mirror, I would think who cares? Why even bother? Your nothing but a big, fat blob! What had made others smile had in turn crushed my spirit. Their laughter was the cause of my tears.

♫ “Oh be careful little mouth what you say…” ♪

There was another time in my life where the words of another very good looking, very handsome, young man affected my self-esteem as well, but this time it was in a positive way. It happened several years ago at another youth conference. Before attending this conference, I had recently been dumped by a guy and aside from being heart broken; my self-esteem level had gone to about zilch. As if that wasn’t bad enough, this guy had found another girl. He had moved on and I was left behind. Then to top it all off, the girl he was now with had a baby. I’m not trying to sound mean or holier-than-thou, I know we’re all human, we all my make mistakes AND I know that when we repent God forgives and its under the blood of Jesus, BUT I just couldn’t believe that he had chosen her over me. I mean she had a baby and I had never even kissed a guy! My self-image became so low it made me feel like my purity wasn’t important, like it didn’t even matter.

♫ “Oh be careful little mouth what you say…” ♪

It may seem brutally honest, but I’m just being real. That is how I felt, worthless. Like trash, like the fuzz between someone’s toes, like the crud on someone’s feet, the dirt under their nails. My self-esteem was by far lower than it had ever been after being slammed by that good-looking guy at Heritage. I had completely given up on my appearance. I never did my hair, hardly even ran a brush through it. I didn’t care about the way I looked. I had this one maroon jumper; with black flowers on it and I pretty much wore that all the time. My friend Janelle says that she remembers that I would wear that jumper to church on Sunday and then sure enough I would have it on again for church Wednesday night. She says that she remembers saying something to me about it, like, “um Mary, didn’t you wear that on Sunday?” She says that I would just shrug my shoulders like, whatever, who cares!

♫ “Oh be careful little mouth what you say…” ♪

And so that was the mentality I went with to this conference. I just didn’t care about the way I looked. I figured if I couldn’t get this one guy to like me, then it wasn’t like I could get anyone else to look at me. I remember on the last night, I had a date to the banquet and everything, but it didn’t matter to me. I remember we were getting ready for church that last night of conference and the girls in my room were getting all dressed up and they asked me if I was going to do my hair for my date, I just looked at them. They were like come on Mary; “You have a date, YOU HAVE TO DO YOUR HAIR!” I remember I just got my hairspray, brush and bobby pins, handed it to the girls and was like, ok then, do my hair. So my best friend did it for me. She put my hair up in pretty little rolls and put on my cute little zebra headband to match my outfit and I guess I looked good, but I honestly don’t remember thinking about it, or even glancing in the mirror. I just didn’t care.

♫ “Oh be careful little mouth what you say…” ♪

That night after service I remember walking around, mingling with my friends and socializing. While talking to some people, I noticed from the corner of my eye a very handsome young man. Now when I say handsome, I mean very, very handsome! He was by far; way better looking than the guy that had made fun of me previously at the Heritage Conference. I mean he was the kind of guy that when I saw him my heart literally skipped a beat and I didn’t think I could breath right. Every girl has that one guy that is just above and beyond any other guy they have ever met. That one guy, that they consider, the best looking guy in the world, and even though most everyone I knew didn’t agree with me, to ME, he was that one guy.

♫ “Oh be careful little mouth what you say…” ♪

As I stood there chatting with my friends, I see from the corner of my eye that he is looking at me. I think it’s just my imagination, but then I see him look again, this time he leans over and whispers something to his friend. I think, “Oh great, just another cute guy making fun of me.” But then he starts to come over to me, then he stops, glances at me again, whispers to his friend again, his friend whispers back and then he comes over. I’m trying to be casual about it, but inside I’m freaking out. I mean I’ve kind of known this guy most of my life, but just as an acquaintance and I’ve never really talked to him. He shakes everyone in our groups hands, says hi to us all, then he turns to me…

♫ “Oh be careful little mouth what you say…” ♪

I can’t remember what all he said to me, since I was quite flustered at the moment, but I remember him complimenting me on my appearance. He said something about me losing weight and he congratulated me on it. He said that I looked good. I was shocked. It happened so quickly all I could do was stand there speechless. He was what I considered, the handsomest guy I had ever seen, and he was complimenting… ME!

♫ “Oh be careful little mouth what you say…” ♪

All the girls were like, oh is that why you went and stood over there, because of him? I was like, “NO!” Honestly, I had noticed that he was at church that night, but I didn’t think twice about it. I mean, if this other girl had gotten the heart of the guy that had dumped me, there was absolutely no way in the world that I was going to be able to get the best looking guy in Pentecost to even look at me, let alone come over, shake my hand, say hi, AND GIVE ME A COMPLIMENT!

♫ “Oh be careful little mouth what you say…” ♪

This young man’s words affected me in a very positive way. I know it probably wasn’t easy stepping out the way he did and paying me that compliment. It took some guts to do it, but because he did, I went home from that conference a different person. Aside from developing an even bigger crush on him, my spirit was lifted and my self- esteem began to be restored.

♫ “Oh be careful little mouth what you say…” ♪

After that night I became determined to care about the way I looked. We had Saturday night prayer meeting the next day after conference and I was like, you know what it may just be prayer meeting but I’m going to do my hair for it. It’s been quite a few years since that happened, but I can’t remember a Sunday since that conference that I have gone to church without my hair all fixed up. (Aside from the time I overslept and had to go to church with curlers in my hair!) I decided I liked looking good and started doing my hair all the time even for work. My brothers would look at me and be like where are you going all fancy? I’m like; “work”, and they would just look at me, like I was crazy. I remember everyone at church would look at me like all shocked and just be like, why are you all dressed up? Is there going to be a cute guy here or something? I would be like nope, I just feel like looking good. Eventually, everyone just got used to me getting all dressed up for no particular reason and I think they would be more shocked now if I didn’t.

♫ “Oh be careful little mouth what you say…” ♪

However, I continued working on myself, my appearance, taking care of myself and losing weight. Of course my crush continued to blossom and I remember a lot of people telling me not to get my hopes up and that they didn’t want to see me get hurt. I was just like you know what, “I’ve already been hurt and when I look back on it all, I think, it really wasn’t worth it, and I know that it may happen again, but it’s ok, because this guy is so worth taking that risk.” As time went on that guy never did return my interest, but he did become my friend. And even though I know, he knew that I liked him, he was never rude to me and he always treated me with respect.

♫ “Oh be careful little mouth what you say…” ♪

Eventually, I got the hint, I realized that he wasn’t interested in me and even though I was disappointed and I cried a few tears, I was ok. Because of the way he treated me, my spirit wasn’t crushed and my self-esteem was still intact. Looking back, I can say, “he was worth it” and if I ever have the chance to talk to a girl he is interested in, I would give him the highest recommendation to her and sincerely mean it. Yes, I truly believe that God used the kindhearted words, of a good-looking young man that day to restore my self-esteem.

♫ “Oh be careful little mouth what you say…” ♪

The Bible has a lot to say about the words that come from our mouth. James says, “ Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity; so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.” (James 3:5-6) It’s so easy for us to let unkind words slip out of our mouths without even thinking about it, to call someone ugly or some kind of rude name and if their feelings get hurt we act like they are the one with the problem, because, “they don’t know how to take a joke.” Sarcasm is considered cool and yeah, to some degree sarcasm can be funny, but it’s not a trait I would personally want to be known for.

♫ “Oh be careful little mouth what you say…”

What does sarcasm mean? Sarcasm means, expressing or expressive words of ridicule that wounds (wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn). Sarcasm is the rhetorical device of using a characterization of something or someone in order to express contempt. It is closely connected with irony, in that the two are often combined in the same statement (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarcastic). Sarcasm – is one kind of irony; it is praise, which is really an insult; sarcasm generally involves malice, the desire to put someone down, eg, “This is my brilliant son, who failed out of college.” (academic.brooklyn.cuny.edu/english/melani/lit_term.html) Sarcasm- a form of verbal irony in which apparent praise is actually harshly or bitterly critical (www.wwnorton.com/litweb/glossary/glossary_s.htm). According to Wickipedia Encyclopedia, the origin of the word sarcasm comes from the ancient Greek word sarkazo meaning ‘to tear flesh’.

♫ “Oh be careful little mouth what you say…”

‘To tear flesh’. Something tells me that Jesus wouldn’t be very fond of sarcasm. I don’t think he would laugh it off and come up with witty little sayings about it. Jesus says in Matthew, “Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (Matthew 11: 29-30) Sarcasm just doesn’t seem to fit into those scriptures anywhere. Jesus describes himself as meek, humble and a place of rest. Furthermore, he tells us to take that same spirit upon ourselves. We should be a place of solace and rest to one another, not some kind of butcher block that tears each other down with our words.

♫ “Oh be careful little mouth what you say…”

Even the best looking, most affluent people, have their bad days. There are times in our lives where we just don’t feel like we’re all that. No one ever would have been able to guess how those words had affected me from that Heritage conference all those years ago. I acted like, I didn’t care and I seem like the kind of person that wouldn’t care. I know to some degree how to hold back the tears in public, but the truth is that it did matter and I did care. You may think, oh that person is strong, they won’t take it the wrong way, but you can’s see their inside and you just don’t really know. We’re all human and although some of us are more sensitive, none of us are immune to getting hurt. As the song Hezekiah Walker sings, “I need you, you need me, we’re all a part of God’s body I pray for you, You pray for me, you are important to me, I won’t harm you with words from my mouth, I love you, I need you to survive.”

♫ “Oh be careful little mouth what you say…”

My self-esteem was strongly affected in two different ways, simply by the words of two individuals’ mouths. I don’t think that guy from Heritage is some kind of horrible person. He was just trying to look cool in the eyes of his friends, but he wasn’t thinking about me as a person or how his words might affect me. The truth is that most of us have all made fun of someone at one time or another. I’m sure the other good-looking guy has, and I for sure know that I have done my fair share of saying unkind things and making fun. There is an old saying that says, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” That saying is NOT true! Words can hurt and sometimes even more than sticks or stones ever could. Words are a powerful tool that can be used in a positive or negative way. Words can slice and dice a person right up. The Bible says “Death and life are in the power of the tongue,” (Proverbs 18:21).

♫ “Oh be careful little mouth what you say…”

However, your words can also be a blessing and bring nurture to a hurting person. “Pleasant words are a honey comb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” (Proverbs 16:24). How are your words affecting people? How are my words affecting people? Are we lifting people up, causing someone to smile? Putting on the light in someone’s eye? Or are we slaughtering people? Slaying them with sharp words and stomping out their flame? “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD…” (Psalm 19:14). ♫ “Oh be careful little mouth what you say!”♪

Mary Frances Ginty attends Landmark Pentecostal Church in Scottsdale, Az. She has a heart for outreach, children and Sunday school. Mary enjoys cooking, reading, public speaking, blogging, collecting hair accessories and laughing. Currently, she is enjoying her life as a single, Apostolic young lady. To get your daily dose of Mary, go to classicmarymoments.blogspot.com

Science, math, history, my ABC’s and 123’s and even how to spell
If we were good we might have time for fun before they’d ring the bell

But as the years have past, and I have learned that things were not always fact
That the things that I learned in Sunday school would keep my life intact

Those lessons learned, and songs were song and even crafts that I made
Taught me things I would rather use, and things I’d never trade

‘Cause they were taught from the holy book which words that are always pure
To take you though time when even logic and facts simply become obscured

So let see what we have learned and see what’s false and what’s true
When it all though and things are done you might learn a thing or two

In Art, it was about the mix of colors and how you can create a perfect flow
But why does a black heart, washed in red blood always turns white as snow

It seems in Science this hairy monkey was some kind of kin of mine
But I have learned, I have a Great Creator with a perfect design

In Economics, it is all about how that I can simply invest
But I have learned to give my 10 percent, I will always be blessed

In Math class, one plus one plus one should always equal three
Add the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, and only One God is revealed to me

In History is about keeping the past, always present in our minds
But at a cross of Calvary, I have learned I can leave my past behind

In Physics, it was Law of Gravity, and what Sir Newton had to say
But I have learned when the trumpet sounds I will fly away

I have more understanding then all my teachers could ever show to me
When I read my bible, revelation can come, when I get down on my knee

So you may be a straight A student or not quite make the grade
But what you learned in Sunday School never ever will it fade

Written by Jacqueline S. Cleveland

Jacqueline S. Cleveland is 26 years old and attends Landmark Pentecostal Church in Scottsdale, AZ, pastored by Rev. David Abbott. Jacqueline is a graduate of College of Apostolic Ministries of Phoenix. She is involved in children’s ministry including children’s choir director, sings in the church choir, and one day dreams of being a missionary to Africa!

The example at hand: Paul the apostle, who had learned to be content in every shade of wealth and poverty. Such a realization could be possible only, we realized, by actually being in each of those conditions!

Then Tim raised the question: If it’s so hard to trust God now, what about the burdens of family life, choosing a career or selecting a spouse? A more than slightly daunting thought to a mostly single crowd.

There are new conditions for me now: seeking God’s path for my life. Trusting that not a day of singleness has ever gone to waste. Stewarding my opportunities in the midst of uncertainty. Somehow creating something out of nothing. And in the stuck spots of life, deflecting my focus from impossibilities to my Savior’s face.

I’m finding great contentment and confidence in God’s purposes for me as an individual.

Sometimes God immerses us in impossibilities. Other times, I think He merely beckons: Would you like to trust Me here? Perhaps in forced encounters with the impossible, we grow the spiritual muscle necessary for more audacious requests. A boldness of faith that dares — when He dares you — even to take on new obligations and new responsibility, willing to show that in this condition, too, my God is enough — and more.

But who would voluntarily put themselves in such a place? Who hears the call to constant out-on-a-limb reliance on God and says, “Sign me up!”

“With men this is impossible,” says Jesus.

“But all things are possible with God.”

Whether its finances, faith, or matters of life and death, all things are possible with God.

When Peter saw Jesus walking on the water, he longed to join in the impossible. “Lord, if it is you,” he cried, “Command me to come to you on the water.”

And when Jesus said “Come” — he could.

So if a call comes for me: Will you take this trip? Will you accept this task? Or even: Are you willing to risk your life?

I take a deep breath. I ask: Is it You, Lord?

And joyfully, confidently, prayerfully, I walk into the impossible.

On purpose.

Excerpt from the article by Elizabeth Adams – Boundless Magazine (May 14, 2010.)

http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0002289.cfm

Amber Baus holds a bachelor’s degree in Early Childhood Studies from California Baptist University and is pursuing a teaching credential in Special Education. She is currently employed with the Riverside County Office of Education as an Administrative Assistant in Technology. Amber attends Inland Lighthouse Church pastored by Rev. Larry Booker where is she is involved with a variety of ministries and community programs.

“I will not look at anything wicked. I hate those who turn against you, they will not be found near me.”       ~Psalm 101:3

Who needs television?  Drama, gossip and a good laugh can be found in many places and the church is no exception.  As Christians we are not immune to the human frailties known as “life.”  Thankfully, God gives us the grace necessary to overcome life’s many troubles and trials.

With tabloids broadcasting the recent Hollywood breakups, the latest drugged out celebrities, or every bit of gossip and slander they can muster up, it’s amazing there is any time left for any positive news. One would have to be both blind and deaf in order to escape the continual negative onslaught that can be viewed by everyone everywhere; in magazines, on television and even on most roadside billboards.

So when did it all start? When did the entertainment world known as Hollywood become the voice of the people? When did its approval (or lack thereof) become the stamp of acceptance for most American families?  Who knows, but it’s here alright and it’s ugly.  Every year hundreds of young people stand in long lines to audition for some reality show or move to LA in hopes of getting noticed or striking it rich. Unknowns become household names overnight and revered like gods above the masses. Why have we revered such nonsense?

On these small or large black boxes that clutter nearly every home sit people who day in and day out welcome some of the darkest, slimiest, filthiest acts right into the intimacy of their own homes.  Like a small child that is nurtured, care for, and were we allocate our time and money to, TV also becomes one of the family. TV is where people go to when they’re lonely, it’s the one that makes them laugh and sadly but true, helps them raise their children.

What gets thrown out every hour and even every minute by these people who are more interested in ratings than the emotional and spiritual health, is appalling! Their standard has become America’s standard, their morales our morales — and all in the name of entertainment.

Some say “we are what we eat”…can this be true of our entertainment choices?…will we become what we watch?

Thanks for the offer, but I think I’ll decline.  I have enough garbage in my own trash cans and I don’t need any more! Like I said, “WHO NEEDS TV?”

Amber Baus holds a bachelor’s degree in Early Childhood Studies from California Baptist University and is pursuing a teaching credential in Special Education. She is currently employed with the Riverside County Office of Education as an Administrative Assistant in Technology. Amber attends Inland Lighthouse Church pastored by Rev. Larry Booker where is she is involved with a variety of ministries and community programs.

Growing up I’ve heard many stories of saints past taking a stand for this blessed Truth. I’ve heard the message of Holiness preached and followed the standard my pastor taught.  But I never imagined that one day I would be faced with the choice to stand up for what I believed.

I joined the Navy Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps (NJROTC) in my freshman year of high school because the program offered many incentives that would help me later in college.  This was also a prestige group and I was excited to join. However, during the orientation I discovered that I would be required to wear the pant uniform for any of the competitions. After much prayer to God and a few discussions with my mother, I decided to approach my commanding officer about my concern.

It wasn’t long before I found myself face to face with the Commander telling him about by Christian beliefs and the difficulties I was having.  What was sure was that I was not going to wear pants for the very reason that God instructs us in Deuteronomy 22:3 that wearing men’s apparel is an abomination to Him. Nothing is worth displeasing God. Not even a free ticket into college was worth that. Nevertheless, he granted my request and I would be allowed to wear the optional skirt uniform, worn by no one, but me. The good news was what I first believed to be an obstacle actually became an opportunity, an opportunity to share my beliefs about Christ and His saving grace.

Nevertheless, what I thought was a done deal, was anything but finished.

In my sophomore year I was informed that the skirt option would no longer be granted.  Wearing the pants uniform was now mandatory and the decision was being heavily enforced as our unit would be competing at an extremely important competition. Several of my shipmates pleaded with me to give in “just this once” and wear the standard pant uniform.  I politely declined and thought the issue was over; yet my senior instructors were not so willing to let this issue pass.  I was requested to attend a meeting with my Commander and school support staff.  I was informed I either wore the pant uniform or I would be removed from the program. Along with my removal, all credits I received during my time in the program would be removed from my record. Absence of those credits would delay my graduation and lower my current grade point average.

While my instructors assured me they would be happy to speak with my parents and pastor regarding this decision, I knew it was my choice to make.  I started to feel some imitation from those around me but just as suddenly I felt a calm come over me and with boldness I faced the adult leaders. I explained that regardless of what my pastor and parents said this was my choice and my convection.  Yes, they had been instilled in me as a child but I had come to love this Truth for myself.  I would stand by my decision regardless of the consequences it would bring. No discussion was necessary, my decision was made – I would not wear the pants.

The tension in the room was thick but I knew that it was in God’s hands now. The outcome was as I had expected and I was informed that I would be removed from the program. While I couldn’t see it at the time God was just getting started with the miracle he had in mind for me.

I was surprised to receive a request to appear in the NJROTC offices two weeks later since I had been under the impression the outcome was final. It seemed my stance for Holiness had impressed my instructors and they had decided on a new compromise.  I was invited to return to the program with all my credits being restored. In addition all females would be required to wear the skirt uniform until I graduated and left the program!

Since that day I have had many opportunities to witness about my faith and was blessed to see a fellow classmate and her mother receive this precious Truth. I was invited to return that following summer to help with the incoming freshman class and received a wonderful surprise. The supply room was stocked with a complete rack of skirts for the incoming females. Noticing my surprise my Commanding Officer told me, “that’s your doing; it is become of you those skirts hang on the racks.”

~ Except from the personnel testimony of Naomi Chavez

Authors Note: Naomi Chavez was awarded valedictorian of her graduating class with a GPA of 4.0 or higher. Her monumental stand for Holiness was noticed by her High School administration during her commencement along with a private letter of admiration to her pastor.

Amber Baus holds a bachelor’s degree in Early Childhood Studies from California Baptist University and is pursuing a teaching credential in Special Education. She is currently employed with the Riverside County Office of Education as an Administrative Assistant in Technology. Amber attends Inland Lighthouse Church pastored by Rev. Larry Booker where is she is involved with a variety of ministries and community programs.

To the girl who won’t settle for second best
but keeps praying for the right guy to come and sweep her away,

To the girl that watches the “spiritual guys” flirt with the girls that wear their clothes too tight,

To the girl who refuses to wear the short skirts to get attention because she knows it isn’t right,

To the girl who won’t lower herself to stalking and chasing a guy,

To the girl who passes on being the center of attention and settles for being a little shy,

To the girl with the personality that would make a guys head spin,

To the girl who waits patiently at a guy’s heart’s door but is never let in,
To the girl who is called smart, interesting, and cute – but never hot,
To the girl who was passed over for the “ditzy ones” and never forgot,
To the girl who refrained from kissing every guy she dated,
To the girl who won’t ever allow a man to make her feel degraded,

To the girl who demands that every guy treat her with respect,
To the girl who doesn’t hide her face behind make-up because what you see is what you get,
To the girl that doesn’t pretend to be dumb just so some guy can feel smart,
To the girl who takes a stand for what she believes in and is true to her heart,

This is a tribute to all of you
Who don’t think anyone takes notice of all that you do,
All that you stand for
All that you are.
For those of you who still believe God is the author of love and He is watching,
Your Prince is not very far.

“When God unfolds the rose, He always gets it right.”

I’m a romantic. I also believe in fairy tale endings, prince charming and happy ever afters. I’ve swooned over Mr. Darcy as I read Pride & Prejudice, squealed with delight when Bella fell in love with Edward, and then cried when Anne told Gilbert she wouldn’t marry him in Anne of the Island.  Like any normal girl, I’ve dreamed of my own prince charming and imagined all the romantic things he would tell me to sweep me off my feet. Then the lights come on and the book ends, and I notice I’m still wearing my rags with the single glass slipper. The pumpkin is still a pumpkin and the frog is still … yep, and no prince charming!

I’ve become the expert dodger at weddings when asked that frustrating question, “So when are you getting married?”  Honestly folks, if I knew the answer to that question don’t you think I would have already done something about it? Instead I laugh and joke that I don’t need a husband when I have the unconditional love of my two dogs.  But like any other single women, I wonder when my time will come or when I will first lay eyes on that special someone.

The hardest part of this thing called life is the waiting. Whether it’s waiting for the right job, selecting the right career, or waiting for that perfect someone — it seems we are always waiting.  Our lives are still being written, the canvas fresh with paint and we don’t get to see how this all pans out.

We live a “microwave” existence, our society an “instant”  everything culture. Instant gratification, instant acceptance — no longer do we have to wait for our “ one and only.”

So how do Christian singles find peace and contentment during this time of their lives?  Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us, “for I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD…” (NIV).   Nevertheless, it’s easy to become disillusioned when our timing doesn’t line up with God.   At times like this, I’m reminded of Helen Lemmel’s ageless hymn.  “Turn your eyes upon Jesus….and the things of earth will grow strangely dim.”  Regardless of what stage we are at in our lives we need to never lose our focus — God’s will, in God’s time.

Like a rose, our life is perfectly unfolded just in time to bloom, not by us but by the Master planner. Each page is written, one section at a time. God knows what we need, when we need it, and is faithful to provide it all at just the right time.  All He requires us to do is simply hand over the wheel and enjoy the ride.

So I’ve decided that my Prince Charming will come when God is ready. Besides, I’ve been told I can always use the bridesmaid dresses again.

Amber Baus holds a Bachelor’s degree in Early Childhood Studies from California Baptist University and is pursuing a teaching credential in Special Education.  She is currently employed with the Riverside County Office of Education as an Administrative Assistant in Technology.  Amber attends Inland Lighthouse Church pastored by Rev. Larry Booker where is she is involved with a variety of ministries and community programs.