A

It is interesting to me that people generally take better care of their cars than they do their own bodies.  How often do we run our bodies like a Grand prix race car with nary a mere pit stop for days, weeks and even months on end?  Running our bodies at this high pitched rate for long durations will result in a plethora of physical and mental problems that will affect us spiritually as well.

Without doubt, God designed our bodies to endure a great deal of stress.  Nevertheless, living in a constant state of exertion was never His plan.  So what happens in our bodies when stress persists for too long?  Our bodies go into what is known as the ‘fight or flight response’.  This is a God given survival mechanism that physically prepares our body to protect itself against an external threat; in our case, stressors like financial and family problems, as well as a host of other problems that often plague a church and its parishioners.  Once this happens, certain physical changes take place. First, our adrenal glands begin secreting stress hormones into the bloodstream called adrenaline.  This causes our heart to beat faster and our blood vessels to constrict which leads to a rise in our blood pressure. Then, energy-giving sugars are released from our liver and we are ‘ready’ for the crisis ahead of us.  Living with a certain amount of stress is normal and inevitable; living in a constant state of fight or flight is not. 

An Important Note

Frequently people who live overly busy lives have done so for so long, that not doing so seems abnormal.  It’s often individuals whose lives are spent serving the needs of others are the greatest offenders and make themselves vulnerable to a condition called “burnout.”   

So, let’s talk about the daily chore of what I’m calling the “balancing act.”  I’ve often wondered why God loving people called to serve others, give to others first, and then ‘hope’ to have time left to deal with their own needs and that of their family.  It often seems as if caring for oneself and one’s own is somehow equated to the neglecting of God’s work.  This truly is a misconception as scripture states the opposite.  Not taking care of first things first, can actually disqualify one from office. (Matt 16:26; Titus 1; I Tim 3)  Nonetheless, making the choice to STOP for those who are the most important in our lives (God, spouse and children) can be a self imposed difficulty.  Even though the call of God upon an individuals life reigns supreme, God never intended for anyone’s call to the ministry to be the means of their own and their family’s destruction. We must continually remind ourselves of this truth

In spite of all we learn about the importance of self care, we will most assuredly spend an abundant amount of time in attempting to meet the needs of others.  Interesting enough, in all our attempts, we never really meet all their needs.  It is a human impossibility and one that even vexed Moses; “How can I bear alone the weariness and pressure and burden of you and your strife?” (Deut. 1:12 AMP).  As I state in my book, Christian Counseling, “we are called to be our brothers’ keepers, not their savior…” so please, don’t forget to attend to yourself and your family, because in reality, you can only give what you have and no more.

As a counselor, I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes we all have to put the needs of others ahead of our own, but wisdom demands that we know when enough is enough.  When Jesus was being ministered by the woman who washed his feet, he made it very clear,”…ye have the poor always with you; but me ye have not always (Matt 26:11).  To paraphrase, “you will always have problems to solve, but you need to take care to serve me first.”  We are of no use to God if we are not first of all healthy in our own minds, spirit and body.  Granted, much of the Christian’s true spiritual and emotional health is gained in and through our service to others.  However, if in leaning too far in that direction we lose our own and our family’s spiritual and emotional health—what have we gained?

Hence, “The Balancing Act”.   

• Next… Hints on How a Pastor Can Best Help Himself from the Dreaded Disease Called “Burnout”?   by Pastor Larry Booker.

Beth Baus is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and professor at Apostolic School of Theology/Hope International University.  Visit her website at www.ourhealthyfamilies.org for more information about her recent books and other materials available.    

Posted: Thursday, December 3, 2009, 8:53 (GMT)

Washington DC-based Family Research Council released on Wednesday a new study detailing the effects of pornography on marriages, children and individuals.

“This is a ground-breaking review of what pornography costs families trying to create a life together,” said Dr Pat Fagan, who authored the study and serves as FRC’s senior fellow and director of the Center for Research on Marriage and Religion.

“Men, women and sometimes even children are saturated by sexual content, and more significantly, are told that it has no real effect. It’s just a little amusement.”

But through the study, Fagan affirmed that “pornography corrodes the conscience, promotes distrust between husbands and wives and debases untold thousands of young women.

“It is not harmless escapism but relational and emotional poison,” he commented.

Pornography was defined in the study as “a visual representation of sexuality which distorts an individual’s concept of the nature of conjugal relations”.

The report showed that in families, pornography use leads to marital dissatisfaction, infidelity, separation and divorce.

Citing the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, the report pointed out that 68 per cent of divorce cases involved one party meeting a new paramour over the Internet, 56 per cent involved “one party having an obsessive interest in pornographic websites”, 47 per cent involved “spending excessive time on the computer”, and 33 per cent involved spending excessive time in chat rooms.

Fagan commented, “The fact that marriage rates are dropping steadily is well known. But the impact of pornography use and its correlation to fractured families has been little discussed. The data show that as pornography sales increase, the marriage rate drops.”

The FRC study revealed that among couples affected by one spouse’s addiction, two-thirds experience a loss of interest in sexual intercourse; both spouses perceive pornography viewing as tantamount to infidelity; and pornography viewing leads to a loss of interest in good family relations.

Pornography use, Fagan says, is “a quiet family killer”.

Men are more than six times as likely to view pornography as females and more likely to spend more time viewing it.

Men who habitually look at pornography have a higher tolerance for abnormal sexual behaviours, sexual aggression, promiscuity, and even rape. Moreover, men begin to view women and even children as “sex objects”.

Additionally, addictive pornography use leads to lower self-esteem and a weakened ability to carry out a meaningful social and work life.

Among teens, those who watch pornography more frequently tend to be high sensation seekers, less satisfied with their lives, have a fast Internet connection, and have friends who are younger. Viewing such material at their age hinders the development of a healthy sexuality.

The study points out that with the growth of digital media and the

Theology of Suffering

The suffering of people is a perplexing reality filled with unknown and mysterious aspects.  For the majority, thinking about suffering is not among their favorite biblical pastimes.  We are far more attuned to hear scripture about God’s many blessings and His wondrous power.  The reiterating of the Gospel stories concerning the wonderful healings that took place in the ministry of Jesus; healings of leprosy (Luke 17:1-19), blindness (Mark 8:22-26; 10:46-52), and paralysis (Matt. 9:2-7) evoke great hope in the hearts of many. But for others, these stories can induce feelings of failure and a lack of faith. Such as the story of the woman with the issue of blood where the suffering woman pushes her way through the crowd and exclaims, “If I but touch the hem of his garment, I will be made whole.”  After she was immediately healed, Jesus states that it was “her faith” that made her well (Mark 5:21-34).  To the individual who is grappling with an ongoing sickness and feelings of inadequate faith, the same narrative that brings faith and hope to others can bring to them condemnation as they question whether it is their lack faith that is keeping them from being healed or whether they are trying hard enough to please God. 

Several biblical texts concerning the faith of the patriarchs give insight worthy of sharing with individuals struggling with this issue of a lack faith and that of God not providing a miracle for them. In the book of Hebrews, we find numerous faithful servants who had obtained a good report, were delivered, and partook in astonishing miracles, “Who through faith subdued kingdoms, wrought righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, waxed valiant in fight, turned to flight the armies of the aliens. Women received their dead raised to life again” (Heb 11:33-35) Then, we see a profoundly different set of circumstances as the scripture reports, “And others had trial of cruel mockings and scourgings,…imprisonment…were stoned…sawn asunder…tempted…slain…wandered about…destitute…afflicted…tormented (:36-37). The text continues informing us that these other people also had faith and had obtained a good report, but they did not partake in the same miracles of deliverance. 

Another narrative found in the book of Daniel, reiterates these same truths.  God is certainly able to deliver us from our affliction, but that God may choose not to, does not reflect on our faith or our ability to obtain a good report.  “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” (Dan 3:17-18 NIV)

Another issue, concerns the Apostle Paul who was so instrumental in the healing of so many people, but who also suffered with his own infirmity.  Paul requested that God would heal him of this “thorn in the flesh” and God’s answer to him was, “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Cor 12:7-9)  This seems to indicate that Paul’s suffering was for his, and therefore others, benefit and that his objective was to remind Paul of his own weakness and inability to succeed without God.  This seems to lead us to believe that sometimes our very infirmities provide God with an opportunity to show His sustaining grace through our suffering.  Explaining suffering in these terms can sometimes shift the focus away from a possible assumption that those that suffer have somehow displeased God or are lacking in faith.  It can also provide an understanding that in suffering, the grace and power of God can be made perfect.  But for others, this type of virtuous suffering that God appears to expect of some can provoke feelings of frustration, anger and guilt. We shouldn’t be surprised by this but continue to offer our quiet supportive presence.     

 Occasionally, our desire to explain God and provide people (and ourselves) with some type of ‘magical’ answer that will make sense of suffering can actually be detrimental. The three words, “I don’t know” is sometimes not only an accurate response from a theological/philosophical perspective but is about as honest a response as we can possibly offer a sufferer… these significant three words… represent a bona-fide embrace of the mystery that pervades all of reality and beyond.  The scripture reiterates this fact, “Have you ever come on anything quite like this extravagant generosity of God, this deep, deep wisdom? It’s way over our heads. We’ll never figure it out. Is there anyone around who can explain God? Anyone smart enough to tell him what to do?  Anyone who has done him such a huge favor that God has to ask his advice? Everything comes from him; Everything happens through him; Everything ends up in him.” (Romans 11:33-36 TM)

The question then begs to be asked, “What scriptures can we use to assure ourselves and others of the reassurance of God’s faithfulness; a God who is there with us in our pain, regardless of what we are feeling or experiencing?Psalms 139 is one portion of scripture that accomplishes that; it tells of a God who is with us wherever we might be on this sometimes frightening rollercoaster called “suffering.” “Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?  If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.  If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.” (Ps 139:7-10)  God does not forget his children and His grace and call will never be withdrawn.  “For God’s gifts and His call are irrevocable.” (Rom 11:29 AMP)

Undoubtedly, we live in a broken world and are constantly reminded that all kinds of things, both good and bad, happen to all kinds of people.  Nevertheless, there is hope.  John 16:33 declares that we have hope in the midst of suffering because our God has overcome.  “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) 

At times during my mother’s struggle with the disease called Alzheimer’s my own doubts and fears soared to the forefront.  As I searched for answers, I realized that sometimes the only thing I had could do was just allow myself to relax and bask in God’s love.  There were no concrete answers to be found, just a childlike trust that God had it all under control and I did not.  I determined that this was a whole lot better than me having it all under control and being without God.   I believe Paul found himself in a similar place one day; no answers, just trusting in God’s fervent love, when he said, “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Rom 8:38-39)

I love the fact that so there are so many scriptures that declare that God is intimately involved with the suffering of His people; He sees, He hears, He knows and understands. (Ps 5:22; 5:1-2; 16:8;121:4,5,8; Exodus 3:7-8; Isaiah 56:3-5; Jer 2:31-32; 9:17-18)  “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”(Ps 23:4) 

So where is God during our suffering?  God is with us…His people.  In this I am sure.  “I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, … I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” (Gen 28:15 NIV)

Beth Baus is a Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Riverside, California.  She teaches Christian Counseling and General Psychology classes for Apostolic School of Theology and has also authored several books.  To check out her website go to  www.ourhealthyfamilies.org

(God says) “I will…make the Valley of Achor a door of hope”  (Hosea 2:15)

February 2001

It was 6:00 a.m. one bitter February morning when I received a call that my mother had been placed in a psychiatric ward in Houston, Texas. It appeared that my mother was experiencing extreme bouts of anxiety along with delusions and hallucinations. I presumed the cause must be associated with some type of undetected parasite that had bombarded her body. What else could it be?  I had spoken with her just the other day and she seemed ok.  However, she lived alone and in another state and I guess the changes in her behavior were not apparent to me and this new news was shocking.  Her diagnosis was Alzheimer’s, an irreversible, incurable, terminal disease.  My mind swirled as the words echoed in my head.

Not long after, she was released from the psychiatric hospital.  It quickly became apparent that she could no longer live alone and therefore, was relocated along with some of her belongings to California where she would be under the direct care of my sister and me.  It wasn’t until she came to live with my own family that I understood the overwhelming task we were facing.  As it is with most families, we experienced a time of denial as this unbelievable nightmare began to gradually unfold.  Feelings of fear and anger quickly rose to the surface and caused other siblings to abandon her all together which only intensified the friction and augmented the confusion.  Along with numerous bouts of frustration came feelings of compassion and love mingled with unanswered questions such as: “Why has God allow this to happen?”  and “I feel so bad for her, how much longer is this going to go on?”  Needless to say, the guilt and emotional turmoil continued as we progressed through this seemingly bottomless terror of blackness. 

 The issue of financial support rapidly came to the forefront and added to the already emotional stresses that came when I realized that she needed more care than I was able to provide. The disease had progressed to the stage where 24-hour care was a necessity as she became progressively more unmanageable and at times fierce and violent.  With sorrow and irrational guilt, I began to arrange for my mother’s assessment and admission to a private Alzheimer’s care facility.  It quickly became apparent that there were very few institutions that are equipped to care for Alzheimer’s patients and those that were available charged an astronomical amount for their services; the average care costing anywhere between three to five thousand dollars per month.  Weeks of placing numerous calls continually reiterated this terrible news.  The options became bleaker when it was revealed to me that government assistance for what is considered a long-term mental illness was also unavailable. 

As time passed by and we continued this journey together, the gulf between us grew.  She no longer recognizes my face and often confuses me with someone else.  This is the nature of the disease.  She spends most of her day in a type of psychotic state, is incontinent, frequently falls, and is losing her desire to eat.  This begins a new phase of emotional mayhem as we decide the next step to take once her brain becomes incapable of telling her body what to do and she can no longer perform the most basic necessity of life; the simplistic task of swallowing food and water. 

In many ways our travels through this sudden and unforeseen journey into Alzheimer’s disease has been a frightening and weary one, somewhat like reluctantly participating in a funeral that never ends.  In other ways, there have been triumphs amongst those struggles which are constant reminders of the frailty and the preciousness of life itself.  

I share my mother’s story, but it is by no means only her story.  There have been those before her and those that will come after whose bodies and minds will give way to the outgoing tide of disease.  Though this may be true, what I learned through the six years of caring for my mother was that I could find comfort in the fact that God’s memory is unfailing. I am also reminded that life is but a breath and all too soon we will all lie down in the dust, but no matter the circumstance, God does not forget and is faithful to remember his promises to us.  “I am with you, says the LORD Almighty. My Spirit remains among you, just as I promised … So do not be afraid.”  (Hag 2:4-5 NLT)     

 [Sheila R.L. Lopez died on May 6^th, 2008  -  Beth Baus is facilitating a free Alzheimer’s Caregiver Workshop on Dec. 12^th, 2009. Visit her website for more details  www.ourhealthyfamilies.org ]

Next week:  Where is God? ( part 2…Theology of Suffering)

 She answered:

I use for my lips, for truth

I use for my voice, for kindness

I use for my ears, for compassion

I use for my hands, for charity

I use for my figure, for uprightness

I use for my heart, for love

I use for any who do not like me, prayer.      (author unknown)

“Give unto the LORD the glory due to His name;Worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness.”   (Ps 29:2 NKJV)

Therefore, don’t forget to attend to your own health.  Balance is important.  You can only give what you have. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness…self control…”Gal 5:22-23 NKJV

10 Ways to Christian Disaster

• Stop reading your Bible
• Stop praying
• If you are tired, keep working
• Forget to eat or eat too much
• Ignore the headaches and upset stomach
• Stop exercising
• Don’t spend a lot of time with your family
• Stop going on family vacations
• Spend as little time as possible with your spouse
• Never focus on your own physical, social, spiritual, or emotional health, but only on the needs of others

An excerpt from the book “Christian Counseling: ‘How To’ Guide to Compassionate Christian Care” authored by Beth Baus.  You can order this book and view other books written by this author by going to www.ourhealthyfamilies.org

For Christian parents, the ultimate goal is to rear children in a God-centered environment so that they will desire a more intimate relationship with Him. To do that, we lay a foundation in their lives that includes knowing, believing, loving, fearing, and serving God.  In the church, we help encourage these things by providing a setting that stimulates spiritual growth through teaching, preaching, mentoring, role modeling, and making church a place where children feel safe to ask questions about God.

Clearly, each child is born with their own temperament and personality traits that can make helping some make good choices, a little more challenging. We can guide and provide positive Christian opportunities; however, no one can force someone else to make good life choices. Even God gives us (and our children) the ability to choose right from wrong. God promises to lead and direct us, but He will not force us. The goal is to help children want to walk in the footsteps of their God loving parents and those ministers He has placed in their lives, just as we want and desire to walk in the footsteps of God.  

Modeling a life of discipleship is of the utmost importance!  We are what we observe. Therefore, it is imperative that children see what it means to love God and love this Christian walk through the lives of their parents and other people God has placed in their path. A child’s perception of what it means to serve God is built upon their example. It is impractical to believe that we can raise God fearing children if there are not genuine godly examples for them to emulate. If children see prejudice, hypocrisy, and selfishness, they will not be attracted to this Christian way of life.  Instead, they will most likely succumb to negative peer influences and later have a negative attitude toward God and the church.

A friend of mine shares this story about her son Richard, who is a bright, but often impulsive young boy. He had gotten in trouble at school and his mother, driving him first to the store and then home, asked Richard to please remind her that she needed to discipline him for the problems he had caused at school that day.  She was concerned that because they had to so many errands to run, she might forget. Recently her pastor had made the statement, “If you don’t do what you tell your children you are going to do, you are lying.” Not wanting her children to see her as a liar, she asked Richard to remind her.

Just as she had suspected, she forgot. But Richard didn’t.  As she was putting her things away, Richard piped up, “Mom, don’t forget about the discipline. I don’t want you to be a liar.” 

Teaching children by role modeling God’s character, and not just teaching them His commandments, provides them evidence that living for God is of ultimate importance. Faithfulness to His Word and to the church is crucial. If we have not clearly demonstrated to our children that following God is first-rate, then how will we ever persuade them that understanding and following His laws are worth their effort and time? Simply put, our lips and lives need to say, “I believe in God and His Word.” 

Assuring that children have their physical needs such as food, shelter, and clothing provided for is only part of what we do as helpers of God. Equally as important is to help ensure that each child and family member is provided emotional support and spiritual guidance. This is true biblical teaching and modeling of our faith in God, a message that is often not taught with words, but is caught and modeled by our Christ-like actions toward others.   No child should ever leave our churches feeling unwanted or unloved; just as no parents should leave without a clear understanding of the principals to Christ centered living. And the most effective way to provide this … is to model it. 

An excerpt from the book “Christian Counseling: ‘How To’ Guide to Compassionate Christian Care” authored by Beth Baus.  You can order this book and view other books written by this author by going to www.ourhealthyfamilies.org

27 Ways to Show Kids You Care

1. Notice them. Catch them doing something right and tell them about it.                                 
2. Listen to them. Take some time, make eye contact, smile, and seem genuinely   interested in what they are saying.  You might be surprised what you will learn.
3. Laugh together. (Prov 15:30)
4. Model the life of discipleship.
5. Teach them good manners.
6. Give them space when they need it. This is especially important for teenagers.
7. Talk to them about their dreams.
8. Be faithful to church.
9. Relax. Don’t let your own stress get the best of you and rob you of a good relationship with the child God has placed in your care. 
10.  Apologize when you’ve done something wrong. 
11.  Keep your promises.
12.  Teach them the Word of God. (Deu 11:18)
13.  Appropriately discipline them. (Prov 22:15)
14.  Love God with all your soul, mind, and strength. (Mark 12:30)
15.  Wave and smile when you part.
16.  Ask them for their opinion.
17.  Let them act their age.
18.  Praise more and criticize less. Give them lots of compliments.
19.  Encourage them. ( Prov 18:21)
20.  Be consistent
21.  Be flexible. Say yes more often.
22.  Respect them and their opinions. Thoroughly listen to what they have to say before making any comments or   suggestions. Never yell at or humiliate them in front of others.
23.  Teach by example.
24.  Love them, no matter what.
25.  Never forget that to a child, LOVE is often spelled T-I-M-E. (Prov 29:15)
26.  Pray for them and with them.
27.  Ask them to pray for you.

 An excerpt from the book “Christian Counseling: ‘How To’ Guide to Compassionate Christian Care” authored by Beth Baus.  You can order this book or other books written by this author by going to her website at www.ourhealthyfamilies.org

Loving Your Prodigal Home

Raising a teenager can be a challenge for many parents.  Most teenagers rebel against authority at some point; they talk back, break their curfew, or simply disobey. Your child may at times be a source of frustration and exasperation, not to mention a financial stress. This is normal. While these things can be frustrating, our culture often overemphasizes these negatives. However, it’s also important to remember that along with the difficult times of raising teens, these years also bring many moments of joy, pride, laughter and even times of special closeness. To simply assume that the teen years will be full of conflict, can distort our perception of our child’s behavior and result in a self- fulfilling prophecy as kids tend to rise or fall to our expectations of them.

The good news is that most young people go through adolescence without any major lasting problems. One nationwide poll of more than one thousand children ages 13-17 reported that 97% of those teens claimed to get along with their parents “very well.” Nevertheless, there are some teens that take rebellion to a degree that disrupts their family and even endangers their own their lives and future.

Most of us are familiar with the Bible story of the prodigal son found in Luke 15. The story is about a son who rejects the teachings of his father and sets out on a path of self-destruction. After much failure and deep despair, he returns home and into the arms of a loving and forgiving father. This beautiful message of patience, enduring love, repentance and forgiveness, reminds us that there is hope for our prodigal sons and daughters.  This is because God is patient, His grace sufficient, and will welcome home the most far off of our rebellious children.

 So, what do you do if your child is a prodigal and rebels against you, God and anyone else who gets in their way? 

First, let me remind you that God knows what you’re going through and loves you very much. And better yet, He loves your prodigal as well and even more than you do. The scripture reminds us in Lam 3:22-24 that because of God’s great love towards us, His compassions never fail and are renewed every morning; “It is of the LORD’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.  They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.”          

Here are some ways to show love to your prodigal and help them back onto the right road:

•  DON’T talk to others about “how bad” your child is, but DO ask them for support and prayer. It will be a lot easier for your child to return to the fold if they know that the door of repentance is always open and the people in the church love them and do not have knowledge of all their transgressions.

•  DON’T enable their irresponsible behavior or make excuses for their mistakes and DO let them face the consequences of their actions. If they don’t show up for school because they spent the evening out too late, don’t make excuses for them when their teacher calls. To truly help a prodigal often means practicing “tough love.”

• DON”T focus so much on your prodigal that you forget about the needs of the rest of the family, but DO entrust God to continue to work in their lives. Your spouse and other children need you to be there for them physically and emotionally. You can’t do that if you focus too much on the negative.  Focus on the positives.  A fun, loving and godly home will help in giving your prodigal a reason and desire to return home and to the things of God.

•  DON’T let them run over you and DO set boundaries.  Allowing any child to disrespect you or your spouse does not breed respect for you or create God loving children. Only unconditional love with limits grows children that become godly adults.

• DON’T allow feelings of guilt and regret to ruin your relationship with your spouse, but DO build a unified front. If there was ever a time to unite as a couple, it is now.  Don’t allow your child to pit you and your spouse against each other. This is not the time to place blame on each other for this situation. Give your prodigal plenty of reasons to believe that you both love each other and stand by what the other says.  More than ever before, they need this feeling of stability.

• DON’T add bitterness to their rebellion, but DO make sure to that you continue to talk and spend time with your child. It’s essential that they know that you still believe in them.

• DON’T let your embarrassment, disappointment, or feelings of failure get in the way of your walk with God, but DO continue to be faithful to Him and the church. Show your prodigal what a true Christian life of love, faithfulness and grace really looks like. When they get tired of running away from God, they need to come home and feel God’s presence and have faith in your unwavering love and faithfulness to God and towards them.

• DON’T ever give up, but DO continue to love and pray for your child and have faith that God is still in control, He hears, He loves, and patiently waits for them to repent so He can show them His great mercy… “O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good; for his mercy endureth for ever.” (I Chronicles 16:34) 

 For additional resources and books from this author, please visit www.ourhealthyfamilies.org